His wife takes him to the doctor who examines him and runs a

Jokes from the Pulpit of Pastor Greg Laurie

moncler sale The use of humor to communicate the gospelPastor Greg Laurie uses humor quite often in his sermons. I don’t know how he does it, but he always manages to make the joke or share an antecdote to illustrate a point in his message. He is one of those cheap moncler coats guys who often tells the same jokes, but each time applies it differently, and each time I laugh. And the funny thing is, he can tell the jokes, use the humor, and speak very seriously and powerfully during the same message. I haven’t seen many pastors who can do this as effectively as Pastor Laurie. Although it is not included here, Pastor Greg’s most humorous moments are when he jokes about his baldness. He really misses his hair and can’t wait to cheap moncler sale have a full head of it one day in heaven (with the nice surfer wave he once wore as a teenage boy). Now that he is getting older, he loves to go nuts with the “You know your getting old when.” jokes, which he usually ties in with the brevity of life, or for no good reason, just to make us laugh. Tally ho, and here we go. moncler sale

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A husband has fallen ill with some very serious symptoms. His wife takes him to the doctor who examines him and runs a complete battery of tests. He tells the man to get dressed and step cheap moncler outside. After the husband is gone, the wife says, “Give it to me straight doctor. What’s wrong with my husband?”

cheap moncler outlet “Well, your husband is going to die unless you take some moncler outlet store special measures for him.” cheap moncler outlet

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“Then this is what you must do. First of all, you must not allow him to have any stress whatsoever. You must make him three healthy meals moncler outlet online a day, do whatever he asks you to do, smother him with kisses all the time and tell him how much you love him, give him whatever he wants or needs, spoil him rotten and wait on him hand an foot, and then your husband will live.”

On the way moncler outlet sale home the husband says monlcer down jackets to his wife, “Well honey, what did the doctor say? Am I going to get well?”

moncler outlet Without missing a beat the wife says, “It’s terminal.” moncler outlet

A man went to the doctor for symptoms he was having. The doctor ran many tests. When the test results came back, the doctor brought the man into his office to give him the news. “What’s the word Doctor? Is it serious?”

moncler jacket sale “I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “Your illness is terminal.” moncler jacket sale

moncler sale outlet “Tell me, doctor, how long have I got?” moncler sale outlet

cheap moncler jackets “Ten what? Ten years? Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?” cheap moncler jackets

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moncler outlet store There was an elderly married couple, each being age 85. They’d been married for 60 years. Strangely, they both died the same day and went to heaven. The fact is, the couple had been in very good health the last 10 years, cheap moncler outlet primarily due to the wife’s interest in healthy eating and buy moncler jackets exercise. moncler outlet store

cheap moncler So they arrive at the pearly gates and Saint Peter escorts them to their beautiful, palatial mansion. cheap moncler

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cheap moncler jackets sale Peter replies, “This isn’t going to cost you anything, this is heaven.” cheap moncler jackets sale

The husband and wife make their way to the back yard and are excited to see a beautiful golf course. Every week, the golf course changes to a different model from the most famous courses on earth. The man is once more overwhelmed with joy and asks again, “How much is this going to cost? What are the green fees?”

Peter says “There are no green fees. You play for free. This is heaven.”

Peter then escorts the couple to https://www.kinkhost.com the dining room where there is a lavish buffet with cuisines from all over the world. “How much does it cost to eat here?” the man asks hungrily.

Peter says once again, “It costs nothing, this is heaven. Please understand everything is free.”

moncler outlet uk The man looks around and says “Wait a minute, where are the low fat and low choleserol foods?” moncler outlet uk

moncler outlet jackets Peter replies, “That’s the good thing about heaven. You can eat anything you want and you’ll never get fat, you’ll never get sick, and you’ll never die.” moncler outlet jackets

cheap moncler coats The man suddenly gets angry and throws his hat down on the ground and starts stomping up and down on it screaming. Peter and the man’s wife say “What is wrong with you? Calm moncler mens jackets down.” The man looks at his wife and says, “If it weren’t for your bran muffins, I would have been here 10 years ago.” cheap moncler coats

A man arrives at the pearly gates. Saint Peter takes his name and looks for his name in the book of life. “Hey buddy, I’m sorry but I really can’t find anything on you. It’s not that I’m finding the bad, but I just can’t find anything good either. If you can tell me one thing you did on earth that moncler sale was good, you’re in.”

“Oh, I can think of one thing right off. One time, I was driving down the road and saw a motorcycle gang surrounding this woman whose car had broken down. I pulled my car over, popped the trunk, and pulled out a tire iron. I ran over there, pushed through all the bikers and said, ‘If you want to get to her, you’re going to have moncler sale outlet to go through me kinkhost first.’ Then I bonked a biker on the head.”.

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